


Dr. Phil DESTROYS K-Pop Idol Suga

by tsukaremara



Category: Dr. Phil (TV), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-10-01 08:18:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17240735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tsukaremara/pseuds/tsukaremara
Summary: Suga is abducted from his home one night and wakes up to find himself on Dr. Phil where he is accused of being an amnesiac while also having a multiple personality. Little does Suga know, the Bangtan boys are just pulling a prank on him, watching from backstage.[Just thought i should add that i know literally nothing about BTS i was just messing around at like 5 am with this gucci girl and she said i should post it]





	Dr. Phil DESTROYS K-Pop Idol Suga

**Author's Note:**

> This is not accurate in terms of character representation I don't think, since I know NOTHING about BTS and literally just went off with my friend (who DOES know a lot about them) 
> 
> Don't expect something good, but if anyone ever does read this monstrosity then feel free to continue it in the comments or somethin'. 
> 
> This is for you, missus!

"So we found fifteen mangled corn dogs on the floor of your bedroom.."

Suga: you fucking what

"We believe this is the work of your other personality- for the purpose of this discussion let's call him Chad"

Suga: you found fucking WHAT 

"Inside your closet we found V's underwear and three empty bottles of red wine, we think this is the work of Chad"  
“now i’m a taegi shipper myself so just to let chad know, i appreciated that.”  
"Unfortunately we haven't been able to locate V at this time"  
"We assume.."  
"That this is Chad's doing."  
"Tell me 'Suga'..."

"Do you recall the feeling of V's throat?"

Suga:....im sorry, did you say corndogs? 

"We found traces of V's hair in your clothes drawers the other day, was this your doing?"

Suga: yeah but-

"Chad??? Are we speaking to Chad right now?"

Suga: no- 

[every time he brings up chad, suga just fucking deadpans to the camera]

"So you admit to placing V's hairs in your drawers" 

Suga: nO 

"Then this was the work of Chad-?"

Suga: WHO THE FUCK IS CHAD

*audience laughs*

"It's okay, we're all here to help you"

[all the members are just watching though like from the other room laughing their fucking asses off]

Suga: *single tear falling* I don't like corndogs..

[Faintly in the background, Jimin is snorting]  
[V is about to pop a lung]  
[j-hope and namjoon soften though and feel bad when they see him cry]  
[but the maknae line shuts that shit down]  
[“stfu this is funny as fuck”]

"Do you remember where you were the night of McDonald's 5$ special?" 

Suga: ?? I don't keep up to date with McDonalds but I was in my room last i- 

"Well, CHAD was at mcdonalds that night"  
"And Chad ordered fifteen burgers"

[Suga: rolling his eyes, “omfg”]

"We found those very wrappers in the bottoms of your friends shoes"  
"Do you know, Suga"  
"Do you know the grief you caused them?"

Suga: *crying* I wanna go to bed

[at this point jimin and jin are on the fucking FLOOR][dying]  
[theyre gone]  
[Suga swears he can hear familiar laughter]

Suga: wait..Dr.Phil!  
Suga: i think I hear a familiar voice.. 

"It must be Chad! He's trying to communicate!" "Quick, Sugar"

[*Suga]  
[dr phil WOULD call suga sugar]

*rustling of bags*

"Eat this corn dog!" 

Suga: ...   
Suga: *takes a bite out of corn dog*   
Suga: hey...this is pretty good 

"Isn't it? Anyways, we were finally able to locate V" 

Suga: *halfway through corndog* where is he? I want to see him 

[dr phil under his breath, “course you do, you love him"]

"Well that's fantastic! Take a look at what your eating"

Suga:...

*stares down at corn dog*

Suga: *recalls the taste of V's flesh*   
Suga:AAAAHSHAHAHAAHDJOSKWLWXKABLDNSSLSBALXBSLWJPDDBSNALWP

The audience parts and V rises from the top bleacher dressed in white, his face contorted trying to hold back his laughter 

Suga, sobbing, stares up at him in shock: V!!!!!!

V: ....you ate my dick in life and death Suga. 

Suga:....*takes another bite of the corn dog*

V gasps, personally offended but also a bit turned on.

Dr. Phil claps his hands together in satisfaction as Suga finishes the corndog, all while eyeing V. 

Suga: fuckin, BITCH

*Suga hurls the corndog stick at V and hits him in the forehead*

V: Hey!

*V trips over his white gown and falls all the way down to Suga*

"Ah yes, my bangtan boys"

Dr.Phil's forehead stretches into the shape of a bullet and he ascends to the heavens as Suga has himself another corndog, this time with some condiments.


End file.
